I'm not sure Brayden recognizes his important role as the eldest child. He sets an example (for better or worse) for the other children. It's hard to see him undergo these changes and become "deafened" but we know the Lord is the details of our lives and the changes.
Brayden shared his testimony today at the deaf branch. When he spoke it, he had an interpreter that signed for the congregation. Afterwards, a brother came up and asked him his name (signed it) and then asked if he's deaf or hearing. I explained that he's hearing but he's losing his hearing. He has complex language but it's slipping away from him. His surgery is tomorrow and we're hopeful that it will yield good results for him. While the school is set on his status as an oral student, we have every intention of learning ASL. It's a part of him. It's a part of us.
I sat in sacrament today reflecting on this last year. What hard challenges we've faced! What blessings we've received! I have specific experiences where the Lord, through others, showed me, "I know....I know...." Heavenly Father has also blessed us and He too understands. It's hard to see your kids struggle. He knows this all too well for each one of us and even for the Savior. He allowed Him to be crucified and it must have been really, really hard.
I have such a testimony of Heavenly Father's love for us. He has love for the one. I ran into a friend from the Single's Ward days and shared the experiences of our family from the last year. He said, "you still have a smile on your face. You look great." There have been some very hard days. There have been some very lonely days, exhausting ,overwhelmed...not sure how I'm going to make it days. It has been a roller coaster. Somehow when I hit bottom, I've always managed to come back up. Faith and hope have kept me going. There are a few people that have literally been my life support, physically, emotionally and spiritually. The hard thing about emotional exhaustion is it's worse than physical and it can impact you spiritually too. I've been so tired and exhausted that going to church hasn't always come easily. I know it's where I need to be but I also know that knowing and doing are two different things.
A couple of weeks ago, there was a lesson about being yoked to Christ. Often times, I think we think He will take the burden from us. He won't take it away, but He'll share it with us.
My kids have been such examples to me. I have also found examples in the scriptures. I looked to Job a lot. If Job can do it, I can do it too. I'm thankful for tender mercies that keep us keeping on. We have friendships in our ward and now in the branch as well. Our circle has been broadened, our hearts are fuller, our eyes are opened and we truly feel thankful for all the blessings the Lord has given us. He's teaching us about getting out of our comfort zones. He's teaching us that we're all connected, brothers and sisters, in the family of God.
We have found it challenging to have the kids want to go to the ward when we're going to the branch or visa versa. A friend shared an experience with me about Brielle. She said Brielle was such a missionary and told her that she couldn't wait for Sunday so she could go to church and learn more about Jesus. She shared a scripture story that she had learned. I was thankful this friend shared this gem with me. It's always a blessing to hear these experiences. We are blessed to have such good people in our lives.
The Cochlear Implants aren't a "fix". We really won't know till much further how well they will work. We feel blessed to live in a day of technology. CIs have blessed many lives. We also know that neuropathy is "tricky" and unless we get on the other side of the lesion, the results won't be as good as we had hoped. On the other hand, it might work beautifully.
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