I Shouldn't Have Put On Eyeliner Yesterday

Yesterday Brayden had his first ABR. He's big enough that he has to be sedated through general anesthesia. I went to Brielle's awards ceremony while Matt took him to the West Campus.

Brayden's test results were a bit of a shock for us. I'm not sure how else to describe it but to say my heart hurt. I shouldn't have put on eyeliner yesterday. His results look very much like Bryce. There's not replicable response observed for the ABR. Like Bryce, he slept for an hour with no activity from sound input. I guess I was hoping for something different. How is he still hearing? Well, the ASSR test (it tests higher frequencies) detected 3 sounds in his right ear and 1 in his left. So, how is he different from Bryce? Bryce can detect 1 sound in his left ear. Brayden has 3 more frequencies and that's it. No wonder he says "what?" so much.

I went through a grieving phase for Bryce and I feel it all over again for Brayden. He's older which is a blessing academically but harder in many ways. He'll most likely have to change schools, leave behind the friends, teachers, and school he knows and start over. It's not like moving from one school to another. He will have to continue to learn a knew language. His primary language will change. :(

Brielle has an ABR on Wednesday and Brenlee has one on Thursday. I'm really anxious to see what the results will be. Will this just effect the boys or will it be all the kids?

I think it's hard watching your child struggle, especially when things used to be okay. They used to hear just fine or at least a whole lot better than they do now. Brielle was sick on Sunday so I stayed home with her. Brayden bore his testimony and Matt used a voice recorder on his phone and sent it to me. I thought that was so thoughtful of him to do. As a mother, it was so sweet to hear Brayden's little voice sharing his testimony.

It's so hard to accept these new changes. I guess there's a tendency to compare your children to what they used to have and it's hard. Last night I was working with Brayden on his cub scouts and the thing that stood out to me was to do YOUR best, the best YOU can do. Not someone else's best. So, we've got to focus on doing their best. We've got to focus on not just enduring these trials but enduring them well. It's hard. It's really hard but we can and have been doing hard things!!!